lifeworksgestaltl1

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Case #112 - The devil says: let go

Serena brought the issue of her jaw. Several years previously she had an infection in it. She had it treated, and there was an 80% improvement. But it hadn't got better than that. It annoyed her - her jaw clicked, it didn't feel quite right, there was some uncomfortable feeling in the nerves. She wanted to see if it could get completely better
I asked about her family context. Given this is a somatic issue, family issues tend to be embedded in the body and consequent problems tend to play out family issues.
Her mother was a strict task master. As she relayed this, her eyes were full of tears, and stayed this way, as we talked about different subjects.
She always came top of the class, from a young age. She pressured herself to get things perfect, and was very distressed if she didn't.
This theme continued with her study - taking on an extremely difficult course, and getting through it by sheer grit determination; then her job - having a boss who expected nothing less than perfection, and managing to find a way to work with him over the years.
She said it was like she woke up one morning and the 'devil had got into my jaw…': she just wanted to 'wake up, and it would be gone'.
This gave us the key, so I asked her to describe how the devil had got in? She said through the back of the head. I asked what the devil  looked like - she said it was a black bat, with big teeth.
I suggested we ask the devil to come out in front of her for now so she could talk to it.
The 'devil' said that he liked playful and rigid people, and that he liked her.
This was interesting, showing that the devil was not actually so hostile, and in fact was there very much because of her core issues - her perfectionism.
She asked the devil - 'why are you here?'
He replied, 'to help you let go'.
This was a major revelation. The Devil was actually playing an important role. The jaw situation was in fact a pointed lesson to learn to let go, clearly related to her perfectionism.
I asked about letting go. She said since the jaw situation she had let go of some things she had previously hung onto - trying to get a promotion, buying a bigger house.
I pointed out that letting go is related in some ways to death, mortality, the end of things. This set up a discussion that could occur another time about letting go as a profound process, raising existential issues.
I asked about what she did for relaxation: not much - she worked very long hours. She did some yoga, hung out with friends, went shopping.
The yoga represented some kind of relaxation activity, but clearly more was needed
I asked what else might she need to let go of.
She drew a blank.
I asked her - 'can you let go when having sex with your husband?' She replied - 'no'
This was also a key statement. It was not just about the sex, but the fact that sex is very much about a cycle of the build up of charge, and release.
She said the held back, as she didn't want to get pregnant.
This gave further information about her holding on, versus letting go. Whilst she was not considering children at this stage, the juxtaposition of this kind of holding on - on a deep organic body level - with the holding on that was clearly at the core of the jaw issue, were importantly related in my view.
Sexuality is a template for much else about our experience - our core organismic functioning. It represents our encounter with primeval forces of life, death, pulsation.
So sexuality can be a potential key  for a profound somatic letting-go that clearly needs to occur for Serena. Her perfectionism is deeply embedded in her body - hence the 'devil' coming to change her course. So part of the answer is a cognitive shift - in attitude, and in terms of a symbolic letting go; but more fundamentally it has to be rooted in a body experience of letting go.

No comments:

Post a Comment

© Lifeworks 2012

Contact: admin@learngestalt.com

Who is this blog for?

These case examples are for therapists, students and those working in the helping professions. The purpose is to show how the Gestalt approach works in practice, linking theory with clinical challenges.

Because this is aimed at a professional audience, the blog is available by subscription. Please enter your email address to receive free blog updates every time a new entry is added.

Gestalt therapy sessions

For personal therapy with me: www.qualityonlinetherapy.com

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

© Lifeworks 2012

Contact: admin@learngestalt.com

Languages:

HOME

Informed Consent & Rates

PROFESSIONAL TRAINING

Gestalt Therapy Defined

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

PAYMENTS

OTHER STUFF

Links

Book:Advice for Men about Women

BLOGS

• English

Bahasa

Čeština

Deutsch

Español

Français

Greek ελληνικά

Hindi हिंदी

Magyar

Melayu

Italiano

Korean한국의

Polski

Português

Română

Russian Русский

Serbian српски

Chinese 中文

Japanese 日本語

Arabic العربية

English Bahasa České Deutsch Español Filipino Français ελληνικά हिंदी Magyar Melayu Italiano 한국의 Polski Português Română Русский српски 中文 日本語 العربية

If you are interested in following my travels/adventures in the course of my teaching work around the world, feel free to follow my Facebook Page!

vinaysmile

This Gestalt therapy blog is translated into multiple languages. You are welcome to subscribe

logosm1

Interested in Gestalt Therapy training?

Contact Us

Links

Career Decision Coaching

Here

and here

Lifeworks

Gestalt training and much more

http://www.depth.net.au

For Men

Here is a dedicated site for my book Understanding the Woman in Your Life

http://www.manlovesawoman.com

The Unvirtues

A site dedicated to this novel approach to the dynamics of self interest in relationship

http://www.unvirtues.com

Learn Gestalt

A site with Gestalt training professional development videos, available for CE points

http://www.learngestalt.com

We help people live more authentically

Want more? See the Archives column here

Gestalt therapy demonstration sessions

Touching pain and anger: https://youtu.be/3r-lsBhfzqY (40m)

Permission to feel: https://youtu.be/2rSNpLBAqj0 (54m)

Marriage after 50: https://youtu.be/JRb1mhmtIVQ (1h 17m)

Serafina - Angel wings: https://youtu.be/iY_FeviFRGQ (45m)

Barb Wire Tattoo: https://youtu.be/WlA9Xfgv6NM (37m)

A natural empath; vibrating with joy: https://youtu.be/tZCHRUrjJ7Y (39m)

Dealing with a metal spider: https://youtu.be/3Z9905IhYBA (51m)

Interactive group: https://youtu.be/G0DVb81X2tY (1h 57m)